Thundercrackers Pet
by Gafthat
Summary: Thundercracker decides he wants a human pet. It doesnt turn out well. Just a little piece of crack XD


_Inspired by a random parings generator… although this is the same generator that came out with Unicron/Bluestreak/ kinky!!_

_Yeh so this is just a little something I came up with while waiting for inspiration to strike with my other fic Temper Temper. Hopefully i will post another chapter of that soon XD_

* * *

**Thundercracker's pet**

Thundercracker had only recently arrived on the mud ball the squishies liked to call earth.

He had arrived with Skywarp and a few others but while the rest of the Decepticons decided to hang back on the planets uninhabited moon, Thundercracker had decided to go down to the planet to investigate.

Screeching across the sky he left smoke trails in his wake and a resounding rumble, appropriate for his name.

His scanners were picking up signals from incoming aircrafts trying to hail him but he ignored them for now, they were too far away to be of any bother and he would easily be able to outmatch them for speed. What he didn't count on was the sudden appearance of his wing mate.

He swerved to the left vainly trying to maintain his composure.

"Skywarp! What have I said about doing that to me." He yelled across the com-link as Skywarp materialized next to him.

The teleporter laughed in return.

"Calm down TC. Don't drop out of the sky."

"I would stay calm if you didn't insist on sneaking up on me."

Skywarp responded with another burst of laughter across the com-link and teleported to Thundercrackers other side causing the jet to swerve to the right this time.

"Skywarp! Stop it."

"TC I really don't know why you insisted on coming down to this disgusting organic planet. Can't you just wait like the rest of us till Soundwave figures out where Starscream is hailing from and where Megatons' locator is as well?"

"No. I wanted to stretch my wings." Can the taught reply.

Skywarp sighed and flew in silence next to Thundercracker fro a few minutes.

"Hey what are those?" Skywarp lazily swooped under Thundercracker to his other side to get a clearer visual.

In the distance the forms of military jets were just becoming visible. Thundercracker and Skywarp immediately stuck out in their cybertronian forms, as they had yet to scan a different alt mode

"Primitive organic machines." he replied heading up towards the atmosphere; he didn't want to get caught in a fire-fight none the less.

"No, wait TC I want to get a closer look."

Skywarp followed Thundercracker up for about a thousand feet before suddenly dropping back down and heading on a direct collision cause with the approaching military jets.

"Warp get back here now. We are supposed to be remaining inconspicuous."

Thundercracker dived back down to fly level with Skywarp.

"Come on TC, let's have some fun." Skywarp shot back at him while accelerating towards the nearest jet.

"This isn't going to end well." Thundercracker said mainly to himself as his wing mate played an areal game of chicken with the fighter pilot in said jet.

oOoOoOo

Half an hour later and only one pilot remained in the air. So far he had avoided Skywarps attention and this was the only thing that had saved him.

"Hay TC watch me ram this last one." Skywarp gleefully shot back.

It was obvious that after 10 minutes of the seekers engaging the jets; they had tried, unsuccessfully, to retreat. The last pilot was still trying hopelessly to get back to the military base.

Skywarp rocketed towards the last remaining jet, tilting slightly so that the razorblade blade projections on the tips of his wing sliced through the tail and the wing of the other jet sending it on an inevitable downwards spin.

Skywarp then pulled back to Thundercracker.

"Maybe you were right. Maybe this planet isn't so bad after all." Skywarp grinned.

Thundercracker was about to reply when he saw something shoot up in to the air before the last jet impacted. He looked closely and discovered it to be one of the small organics. He was sure the other organics hadn't escaped like that, he paused, maybe they did he just want paying enough attention.

He watched it land with all the grace of Devastator after an Energon binge and he altered his flight path to intercept it.

"Where you going in a hurry TC?" Skywarp teleported to match Thundercrackers new heading.

"I want to see the organic it escaped."

Skywarp looked ominously at the flaming ball of wreckage

"No it didn't."

Thundercracker sighed and transformed mid flight, using his thrusters to gracefully land on the dry desert soil beneath him. A few meters away the fighter pilot was desperately struggling to release himself from the harness attached to his parachute.

"See." Thundercracker pointed towards the human now running away as fast as his legs would carry him.

"Oh yeh. I'm going to step in it." Skywarp announced as he strolled over to the human still running

"Hold on you can't just squish it"

"Why not"

"I want it."

"What?"

"I want it."

"You got one of those little electronic quadrupeds on the last planet and Soundwave's got all of his casseticons. I want one of these organics" he huffed.

Skywarp picked up the struggling human.

"Eww look it's gross." He said holding it away from himself "I think its secreting stuff."

Thundercracker looked on unimpressed

"I'm still having it."

"Can't we get you something nice and non-organic? I'm sure Soundwave will let you borrow Ravage for a bit if you want to hug something."

"No I'm having that one." He pointed at the human in Skywarps hands. Then he pulled a face realising what Skywarp had just said. "And I don't want to hug it."

oOoOoOo

John though he saw his life flash before his eyes as the NBE's transformed and landed. He managed to unclip himself from his parachute and make a break for it. However he wasn't fast enough. Let's face it they were alien jets more than 10 times his size. He would never have been fast enough.

The Black one scooped him up and held him tightly in one fist walking back to the bluish one.

He was going to die, he knew it. There was no way on earth he could possible get out of this situation. Then the black one started talking.

"sewfnngutng tungu huri." John was thrust away from it as it continued. "infinfirungoin itjhoitjo ijtgti"

The other one took a step closer and he inwardly cringed, this was it, the end, he closed his eyes and waited.

oOoOoOo

Skywarp shoved the human into Thundercrackers waiting hands.

"Ok so what you going to do with it then."

Thundercracker paused.

"I'll train it. It could be quite useful"

Skywarp sniggered "For what exactly? And you know as soon as we find Megatron or Screamer it'll be squished."

"I don't care." Thundercracker eyed the human in his grip "Look it's even stopped struggling. I think it likes me."

Skywarp shook his head.

"Well at lest bring it back to the rest of the con's, we're not staying here with it."

"Of course we aren't. Look could you put it in my cockpit."

"Gross; you want it inside you?" Skywarp ogled Thundercracker.

"Yes hurry up." Thundercracker handed the human over and transformed.

"This is so wrong." complained Skywarp.

"It's not even inside you so be quiet and be careful it's fragile." Thundercracker snapped back

"Yeh but I have to look at you with it inside you." Skywarp moaned.

Ignoring Skywarp he took to the air and headed back in to orbit and to the Decepticons waiting.

oOoOoOo

When they arrived Thundercracker slowly opened his hatch, ignoring the cries of protest from the human inside, and Skywarp plucked the struggling human out from him. Almost immediately the humans actions slowed and its face turned a strange colour.

Rumble peered up at it.

"Are they supposed to do that?" he asked genuinely curious.

"NEGATIVE. THE ORGAINIC HAS EXPIRED" Replied Soundwave briefly looking up at the now dead human Skywarp held.

Thundercracker transformed and scowled at his wing mate

"You killed it," he pointed an accusing finger at Skywarp. "You were jealous and so you killed it."

"I didn't I swear I just picked it up, you all saw me right guys?" Skywarp looked around for support, from the other Decepticons, but got none.

Thundercracker walked up to Skywarp and snatched the human from him.

"I told you they were fragile, what's to say you didn't squeeze it to death when you picked it up out of my cockpit." He accused looking down at the pitiful thing he now held in his hands.

"Maybe it's still alive." Rumble piped up looking at the human icicle in Thundercrackers hands.

"Yeh maybe if you just heat it up it'll be fine." Skywarp enthusiastically joined in.

Thundercracker looked dubious but placed his hands round the small organic and heated them.

Unsurprisingly nothing happened.

Thundercracker scowled at Skywarp but before he could react Skywarp had snatched the human back from him.

"No. it needs to be hotter." His hands glowed with heat as he encased the body.

"It's not working." Thundercracker stated bluntly

Skywarp was desperate now

"Yes it is look it twitched." he jerked one of the now charred limbs spasmodically

Thundercrackers optics brightened as he looked at the small organic Skywarp held.

Here, how about you hold him for a bit Skywarp grinned already plotting his way out of the situation.

Thundercracker obediently held out his hands to receive the human and Skywarp dropped him into them 'accidentally' knocking Thundercrackers other arm so that it closed over the remains of the human with a resounding crunch and squelching noise.

Thundercracker looked horror stricken at the red mess that now coated his hands.

"I… I squashed it!"

Rumble collapsed into a heap at Soundwave's feet laughing at Thundercrackers dumb struck expression.

"At least we know why Screamer called them squishies now." He blurted out between his hysterics.

Thundercracker glared murderously at the casseticon and Soundwave called rumble back to the safety of this chest before the seeker retorted.

Miserably Thundercracker returned to stare at the seeping red splodge on his hands while Skywarp put a companionable arm around his shoulders.

"Hay don't worry about it TC. It was an ugly one anyway, beside there's a whole planet of them down there we can go and fetch you another one no trouble."

Thundercracker still looked downcast but perked up slightly at the idea of getting another pet.

oOoOoOo

Four hours later and a pile of 74 dead humans lay on the moon

Thundercracker sat hunched up next to Skywarp.

"I don't understand it," he said weakly "do they all hate me? Is that why they keep dying?"

Skywarp patted his wing.

"It's alright TC they don't hate you they were all just stupid and not worthy to be your pet. Come on lets get another." Skywarp grinned, Straightened up and pulled Thundercracker to his feet.

oOoOoOo

_Any comments/improvements all welcome and thanks for reading (thanks for the pointers on grammer an such when you look at your work long enough some things like that become invisible and you miss them, so thanks again :D)_


End file.
